(2014-06-11) Defenders' Mystical Consultant
Defenders' Mystical Consultant
Summary: Kate and Mary find out that their lovely Girl Friday isn't just another pretty face with a fascination for investigation, as Mary Jane reveals Red Sonja. And helps out with their big case.
Date: 2014-06-11
Related: Unknown
Scene Runner: NA
Social/Plot: Plot

For most people, twitch shooters are an exercise in hyper reflexes. For Mary? It is an exercise in patience. The game isn't nearly fast enough to keep up with her natural reflexes. She's sitting in her beanbag chair with seven empty bottles of CaffPow scattered about her. There's an eighth nearby, open and ready to be quaffed.

"Come ON!" Mary shouts into her GameKord. "That was a GIFT! There's only twelve orks! How could you not have powned them you freaking slow…."

Kate Bishop walks out of the main office and takes a seat at the secretary's desk. She places a manilfa folder on the table and opens it up. There's numerous photographs and files in the folder. She looks over to Mary and raises a brow. "Getting beat up by digi-monsters again?" She scratches her head, debating another cup of coffee. She shakes it off for now.

There's the sound of a key in the lock of the door to the hallway, then it being removed when the lock proves to be open. Then the door pops open, revealing first that startlingly red hair, followed by the rest of Mary Jane Watson, Receptionist Extraordinaire, and her framed backpack. She is holding a carrier from some non-chain coffee and more shop, with a frosty cold chocolate milk in one space, and a cinamon cruller in the other.

MJ's progress into the place is interrupted by the presence of Mary, on her beanbag chair, in the midst of the office floor. And then by Kate at her desk. But being MJ, she doesn't even make a face. She just shops inside the door, letting it close behind her. "Afternoon. Any filing or anything I can help with?" she inquires, before inching towards the desk to try to win out at least a corner to put down the carrier so she can sling off the backpack and tuck it against the wall.

"No. Yes. Stupid game is too slow." Mary says as her fingers and thumbs fly on the buttons. Then there's a crack and Mary groans in despair. "And this is the fifth GameKord I've broken this year. Wore out the buttons." She sighs. The problems of speedsters. The device gets dropped to the floor. Then the door opens and in walks Mary Jane Watson.

"Do I know you?" Mary asks, having not actually met MJ yet. She zips around the receptionist. "You're the new girl. I got that. But haven't I seen you in your underwear somewhere?"

Kate Bishop looks over to Mary. "You need to learn patience… and how to slow down. Once you're at piece with a slower pace, going fast will be something special to you. Perhaps i can find a Buddhist monastery for you." She smiles. Then MJ makes her way in. Kate stands up and moves over, taking the folder-full of evidence with her. She hears Mary mention underwear.. "Wow… Officially jealous." She chuckles with a wink. "There's nothing to file. I was just going over what we got from the staekout along with what I was able to get from the police."

Mary Jane eyes the rapidly-moving Mary-not-Jane, zipping around her, and gives her brain a second to catch up with the blonde. "Well, you might have seen me in a catalog or a circular. I've done some modeling." Not much in her underwear, though! But Kate is the one that makes MJ blush. The teen moves around the desk, putting down her backpack with a thump, then pulls her carrier around and gets out drink and cruller for enjoyment as she settles into her chair. "Do you have transcripts or anything for me to type up from your stakeout? Is there anything else I can do to help?" Yes, MJ sounds that eager. Because she /is/. And because a change of topic from her in underwear, or jealousy thereof, would be so nice right now. Please?

"Right! You were in one of my circulars this weekend." Yes. Mary actually gets the paper. She zips back over and picks up her bottle. "And you try being patient when everyone else in the world moves as if they're a ninety year old gerriatric patient on a walker." She sighs and drops down into the chair and takes a long glug of CaffPow. "Anyway. Hi, new girl. I'm Mary. I'm also Hummingbird."

Kate Bishop shakes her head. "All the audio, video, and photos have been compiled and handed over to the police.. Copies of course. I've got an ID on our head honcho, though. The police have been after this guy for years. For some reason, he's always been one tep ahead of them. I'm guessing he's a meta of some kind, or has them in his employ." At the mention of a circular, she raises a brow. "I'll certainly need to start a paper subscription now." She chuckles lightly as she makes her way over to the mim-fridge and grabs a water. "We're only working on a couple light cases right now, besides this." She turns her attention to Mary. "That's exactly the kind of patience I'm talking about. When you can do that, you'll stop breaking things and you'll have more control over what you do." She prepares herself for an argument, knowing Mary will not admit to having any form of lack of control.

Mary Jane has difficulty imagining anyone so hyperactive as Mary-non-Jane actually /reading/ a paper, but she doesn't argue. "Is there anything I can do to help with background research for the case?" MJ tries. She really does want to help, and wants to learn her way around the business of investigations. To Mary-not-Jane, MJ offers, "I'm Mary Jane Watson. MJ. And you are?" Hey, introductions! Instead of being called 'new girl' for the rest of her life.

Mary Jane has difficulty imagining anyone so hyperactive as Mary-non-Jane actually /reading/ a paper, but she doesn't argue. "Is there anything I can do to help with background research for the case?" MJ tries. She really does want to help, and wants to learn her way around the business of investigations. To Mary-not-Jane, MJ offers, "I'm Mary Jane Watson. MJ. And you are … what? Also 'Hummingbird'?" Hey, introductions! Instead of being called 'new girl' for the rest of her life. Besides, what's up with the alternate names? <replacement>

"Hummingbird. Code name." Mary explains. "I'm a superhero out in Los Angeles mostly. When I'm not doing the thing here." She wrinkles her nose. "Kate, I know you mean well. I appreciate that you're trying to help but you have NO idea what my life is like. Go and watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy back to back at one frame per second. Then you might have an inkling what its like to live every moment of every day like that. My legs don't work at that pace. My entire being does. My perception of the world. My brain. I'm only hyper from your point of view. From my point of view? Everyone's moving slower than snails."

Kate Bishop nodsto Mary. "I understand. But that's not going to change. Once you become alright with that…" She just shrugs and shakes her head. "What do I know?.. I'm not some bald dude in a wheelchair." SHe turns to MJ. "Well, I've done a preliminary scan, but if you want to try and do a deeper search on Neko Christohanes, please do. Another set of eyes on this wouldn't hurt." She walks over to the desk and pulls out a black and white headshot. "This is him." She also explains to MJ. "Mry's a legit hero, along with Secret Identity and all that. When we're out in the field and communicate, we use assumed names in case anyone's listening."

MJ makes a big 'O' face, taking all of this in. So. OK. She sits quietly and sips her chocolate milk, nibbles on her cinnamon cruller, and tries to stop sticking her foot in her mouth, or making fish-faces of shock and awe.

And runs a web search on her smartphone for 'hummingbird heroine los angeles' and goes through the hits. Holy crap, that's the lady from the train wreck! Those emerald green eyes flick up to Mary again, then back down.

"OK." MJ offers with an affirmative nod to Kate, because that seems like something that should be acknowledged. "Uhm. I was wondering … what does being bald or in a wheelchair have to do with anything?" Did she miss something important?

After a bit, Mary Jane will start searching on Neko Christchanes. Did anyone explain to this guy that his name is 'kitty' in Japanese?

"I have no idea. Kate's strange sometimes." Mary says, making a face. She stretches out her back, inverting into the yoga bridge pose before popping back up to an upright position. "I'm pretty sure he has meta help." She agrees. "I tried to scout his office once. I ended up thirty miles away before I realized it. I didn't run past it. Something about his office makes you get lost. Either magic or some sort of telepath thing."

Kate Bishop shrugs. "Seems like people take advice seriously from bald guys in wheelchairs." She decides not to hover over MJ's shoulder. One, it's rude, and two, it's counter-productive. She leans against a filing cabinet. "Can a telepath set up a "push"? I mean, a telepath could be infomring him of the police, hence why he always escapes.."

"It could be magic?" Mary Jane offers, softly. But with a hint of conviction, because she knows personally that it's real. Whether anyone wants to believe the youngest girl in the room or not. "That'd be something that could be set on a location and always active. Then there'd be like an object or a word or a set of objects that would allow folks to bypass it."

Right. Because MJ coming up with all of that isn't going to make anyone stare at her or anything. Sheesh!

"Could be a mind scramble. Make you think you're going left when you turn right. Could be some sort of spacial warp. Whatever it is, it works fast because I wasn't able to bypass it. I tried it three times." Mary notes. She leans against the wall and swigs some more CaffPow down, finishing her sixth bottle. Or was it her seventh. "Either way, it probably confuses the cops long enough for him to escape."

Kate Bishop blinks and looks to MJ… on cue, of course. "That actually makes a lot of sense. Is there anyone that we can consult on magic?" She sights, thinking as she crosses her arms in front of her. "I don't know if the Themyscirans are much experts on that. We'll have to ask Sally." She nods to Mary. "Either version sounds entirely possible."

MJ … makes a face. It's not an 'I'm insulted' face. It's just … put-upon, maybe? Exasperated? The redhead shrugs. "There's someone I could call, if you wanted to discuss theory. She's no magician. She can't tell you for sure that it's magic. But from what I've seen, she could probably tell you what to look for, and if it's magical, how to try to beat it without having magic of your own." Quite a handy-dandy contact for a would-be investigator / reporter to have, right? "But I'll warn you, she can be a bit of an acquired taste."

"Our new Nancy Drew has a magic consultant? Wicked." Mary says from where she's propped up on the wall. "When I was in high school everything was boring. I'd have killed for a magic class. Or a meta class. Or any sort of class. If, you know, I bothered to go to classes."

Kate Bishop refrains from any snide comments about Mary and class… would come across snarky and not good-natured. She turns to MJ, seeing the face. "Well, give her a call. I'll pay her a consulting fee. I'm used to acquired tastes.." She says, leaving herself open. She turns to Mary. "I don't think they offer those kinds of classes.. At least not in high school."

Mary Jane offers a little sigh. Then finishes her chocolate milk, and her cruller. "OK. Just … remember. I warned you." Oh my. How ominous.

Mary Jane reaches over to her backpack, against the wall, and opens a flap hidden in the fabric covering the embedded frame. Her hand disappears inside, and she stands up as she murmurs something in an alien, unintelligible language. She is surrounded by a flaring corona of corruscating multi-hued light. And then … FLASH!

Standing in Mary Jane's place, gleaming sword in hand, is the scale mail bikini-clad Red Sonja. All virtualy six feet of her. Mary Jane, and her backpack, are gone. Mary Jane's smartphone, however, is actually still sitting on the desk, as are the carrier, her cup, and the napkin the cruller was resting on.

The tall half-dressed redhead cants her head to the side, regarding both of the other woman, but as if she is listening to something. "Ah. Mary Jane tells me you wish to speak of magical wards?"

"Metal bikini woman!" Mary cries out, recognizing the woman both from the internet and the train wreck the other day. "Kate, how in the world did you hire the teenage model who can turn into a metal bikini swordwoman? Because that is some SERIOUS home resources management. Hi!" She rushes up to Sonja and is quickly pumping the redhead's hand. "I'm Mary. This is Kate. Welcome to our detective agency."

Kate Bishop just…. blinks… "Take me to your ladder, I'll see your leader later………." It takes her a second to take in the surprise, and Mary's quick explanation. She writes a note on a post-it and places it on the computer monitor.. it reads. "Remind Kate to speak with Sally RE: Hiring Practices" "Um… Hi.." She looks around the woman. "Did you eat…her?" She shakes her head. "Sorry… Forgive my confusion. This isn't an everyday occurence…. Though it is starting to become somewhat regular." She sighs. "But yes. We're looking to help the local constabulary apprehend this man. He's rather illusive and seems to be getting help, either through magic, or possibly by a telepath. We need to know exactly what he's doing and how to defend and attack against it." She tries to use words that are timeless, not knowing anything about the sword-wielding queen.

Frankly, Sonja is just mentally jaded enough not to let herself be thrown by Mary's exceptionally excitable, rapidfire approach to life. She merely regards Mary for several long moments, and then nods. "You were in the white suit, with multi-colored streamers, saving citizens from the crashed conveyance, when the creature of anger was born."

Sonja flips her hand and sheathes her sword in the scabbard across her back in one smooth, practiced motion. And shakes Mary's hand in amusement. "De-tek-tiv agency?" Sonja questions, then tilts her head again, listening to an unheard voice. "Ah. Mary Jane says you are … Defenders of the people, for hire. You investigate mysteries, protect the innocent. Yes. She has spoken of this, when we met the Canary of Black."

Sonja considers Kate, waiting patiently. She lets the 'babbling' go, as Mary says not to worry about it, and waits until Mary Jane tells her what Kate is saying should start making sense. "You are of course forgiven. Mary Jane has explained to me that she has been keeping our connection secret. But you asked for help I might be able to provide, and apparently she decided you could be trusted." She glances at Mary, nodding. "I can see why."

With the problem explained, Sonja nods. "If it is magic, it has most likely been placed either upon a single artifact - less likely, but possible - or upon the physical place. In either event, there would be markings. Either small mystic objects - stones, tiny jems or the like - or runes embedded in surfaces around the location. If one approaches slowly, calmly, edging up on the location, it should be possible to spot these. Once spotted, one can usually attack them. Arrows. Explosive achemy. Acids can be handy, as well, if you have an alchemist. I am assuming you do not have another wizard to assist you." Why call on Sonja if one has a wizard of one's own to call?

Sonja mentions, "If it is a … telepath, as Mary Jane explains what this is, my suggestion would be that Mary Jane call the one she knows as Megan. She … knows a telepath who might be able to help you. As I help Mary Jane." Not /precisely/ trye, but close enough.

"Be right back." Mary says. She's gone thirteen point seven seconds. "Forgot my phone." She moves next to Sonja and takes a selfie of the two of them together. "I'll print this out and ask you to sign this later." She says with delight. Then she listens to the words. "That all makes sense. Very video game, too. Which is strange. Okay. So, next time I scout the place I'll look for gemstones or runes or something." She looks to Kate. "Unless you want to do your ninja thing?"

Kate Bishop listens to Sonja. "I don't have a wizard, but I do have a factory. I have both acid and explosive arrows." She looks to Mary. "We won't do anything until we plan it out carefully." She returns to Sonja. "Thank you… Miss?" She doesn't know how to rightfully address Sonja, and doesn't wish to offend this "aspect" of MJ. "You're knowledge is greatly appreciated. Hopefully we can repay your help in the future."

The tall redhead extends her hand to Kate. "I am Sonja. Many used to call me, in ages long since passed, 'Red Sonja', for obvious reasons." No, not her hair. The blood. But anyway. "I am sure we can come to work as allies. Remember that Mary Jane can call me, whenever you might have need of me." Just not with her phone. "If you need nothing else, I shall return Mary Jane here, as this is her place." Sonja waits for permission. She doesn't have any idea what to do about 'selfies' or 'autographs'. But Mary Jane will know what to do, she is sure.

Mary isn't ready to print out the selfie so she won't be asking for autographs this time. She can be patient and wait until the next time Sonja pops her red haired head up again. "Nice to meet you!" She says with delight. "You are awesome. Utterly awesome and I want to hear your stories!"

Kate Bishop nods in return to Sonja with a smile, shaking the offered hand. "Thank you again then, Sonja. I look forward to the day where my swordarm joins yours." She says, warrior to warrior. "We should be good now." She says by way pf permission. She giggles slightly when she shoots a glance at Mary.

"Until next time, warriors." Sonja offers, in all real seriousness. Then she draws out her sword, assuming a pose as near to what she was in when she appeared as she can manage, and murmurs more of that strange, alien-sounding language. Another lightshow later …

Mary Jane now stands where she was, hand inside that flap in her backback. She pulls her hand out, smooths down and seals the flap, and then looks over at Kate, then Mary. "Uhm. So. That's Sonja. My … magical consulant." Yes. She's blushing. /Sonja/ was not on her resume in any way, shape or form. One can almost hear her thinking, hard . o O (PLease don't fire me!)

"So…" Mary says, deliberately non chalant. "So, how long have you turned into an ancient barbarian warrior chick?" She smirks a little. Just a little. Because this is a fun day. Like discovering there's delicious chocolate in your cupcake.

Kate Bishop smiles to MJ and waggles a finger. "You gotta lot o' 'splainin' to do, Lucy." She chuckles. "Please tell me the magic words are.. "By the power of Greyskull……"" She smiles and walks into the main office, fiddles around for a bit and walks back in, handing Mary Jane a check for $250. "Your fee. I promised." She smiles. "This town has too many damn secrets, but thank you for trusting us, Mary-Jane. We'll have to seriously take a look at this place." She turns to mary. "Do you think you can pinpoint it on a map?"

Mary Jane still blushes a bit, but since everyone is making light, not yelling at her, she relaxes the hunch in her shoulders. "Uhm. It's been about a year. Since a field trip to the museum last year for school. It was … interrupted." She doesn't go into details about bad juju sorcerers and attempts at world domination. Who would believe her?

MJ grins at Kate, shaking her head. "No. The translation to English is a bit rough. But as best I understand it, it means 'By the blood of Scathach and the Blade of Sonja, I call upon the power of the Red Warrioress.' Because MJ is actually too young to really have caught She-Ray, so the whole thing slides over her head. Nor does she explain how or why she knows to say any of that in a tongue she clearly doesn't understand.

MJ accepts the check, grinning, and tucks it away in her backpack safely. "Hey, thanks for accepting. I know it's weird. But I figured if I could help out like this, and stuff, for cases, I'll learn more. And good people who need help will get it. Right?" That's what the group - the agency, the team - is all about, isn't it?

"Accepting?" Mary says with a laugh. "I can run the entire world in a minute. Kate's got a weapon collection that makes the local armory look small. Sally is a living, indestructable pinball. You fit in just perfect."

Kate Bishop grumbles to herself. "School trips are catalysts to more issues then they f***ing realize." She says, almost in anger. She nods to MJ as she explains the words. "It.. was a joke.. but thank you. And yes, I'm sure she could be most helpful in the field…. However.." She waves a finger. "YOU are still to young. You can still get hurt if you're caught in a situation where you can't "change". We'll need to work somethign out that still keeps you safe." She looks to Mary for an answer to her previous question.

"Oh. Sorry." Mary says, as if she just realized she was asked a question. "Be right back." She grabs one of the GPS tracking devices the team has in stock and zips out. Then she zips back. "I planted it in the alley next to the building."

"I know. I know. Sally told me I can't go into the field. But I just want to learn any way, anything that I can." MJ offers. "And I'm sure Sonja will help any way that we need her to." And if that means MJ sometimes has to change into Sonja /first/, to be allowed to go somewhere, she'll do it. And live with it. Somehow. "Just so everyone knows. While Sonja's here, I hear and see everything she does. But Sonja doesn't hear or see what I do, when I'm here. For Sonja, no time passes between the time she leaves and the next time she arrives. So I have to catch her up on what's going on, as quick as I can." Hence that 'listening to something none of you can hear' pose.

Kate Bishop looks to Mary and nods. "Were you able to get close enough, or just thirty miles out?" She nods, listening to the specifics of MJ's "abilities". "Ok…" She just takes note. "So we'll have to get everyone here and review all this before coming up with a plan."

"I got close." Mary says. "It should tell us what we need to know." She thinks about that then shrugs. "I hope, anyway. I avoided putting it in a trash can or dumpster. We don't want the tracker taken away on trash day."

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